The Diary of a Little Minx
by Mintique
Summary: Alice Brandon is not the kind of girl you'd find yourself rooting for. She's self-absorbed, arrogant, and just an overall terrible person with no regard for anyone else's feelings. Her army of boy toys is endless. And no country hick is about to change that.


**Author's note, yo: So, uh. I don't really have much to say. None of the characters are mine. Standard stuff. I like cats. And I'm tired of the same side always winning.**

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The Diary of a Little Minx

In my most humble of opinions, the world is split into five categories; the cynic, the two-faced, the greedy, the evil and the plain idiotic. The first is pretty much self-explanatory. If you have to Google the term, you're probably part of the plain idiotic clan. You know those people who expect the absolute worst? The ones who only see the horrid, pitiful nature of others? They're the cynics. They expect everyone to be able to reach the level of low they could. Which, when you consider it, is a really smart way of thinking. The two-faced population is also self-explanatory. They're cowards, mostly. Afraid to give their true opinions unless hidden away in some cliché shadow or whatnot. If you really need me to explain the greedy, you obviously haven't been educated past the second grade. As for the evil, just look at any rapist or mini Hitler or whatever and they'll fit in. Last, and certainly least, are the plain idiotic. These people couldn't hurt a fly. And so they expect the same of humanity. Hopeless romantics seem to flock more towards this group. It's a weak group full of weak people. They're hopeful and naïve and undeniably kind. They can easily be confused with what one might consider a "good" person. And you're probably wondering where my good group is at this point. With evil there should be good, right? Darkness and light, yin and yang, etc. Wrong. Good people are a myth. Everyone had a fatal flaw, an Achilles' heel. And so, if you have even the slightest bit of intelligence, you must be questioning which category I identify myself with.

You know those incredibly innocent and humble girls you root for in movies and novels and telenovelas and such? Those girls that wouldn't hurt a fly nor have any bad thoughts? I, Alice Brandon, am not one of those girls. I don't take others getting in my way very well. I don't enjoy being around the idiots that populate my personal hell, otherwise known as high school. I get whatever I want no matter the cost. My policy towards people and materialistic items are the same; they're there for entertainment. People are just life-sized toys. Dolls. Boys are especially fun. Right now, I have Edward, Emmett, James, Jacob, and Seth wrapped around my pinky. Admittedly, it's not easy making sure each relationship is kept secret and private. Edward and Emmett are brothers, after all. While Jake and Seth are the absolute best of friends. Luckily, James is pretty oblivious to the existence of the other four because he graduated high school before they'd even finished middle school, so at least there's that.

Before you go judging me too harshly, understand that my town's just disgusting. It's tiny and boring and inevitable that the guys I go after have some connection to each other. Besides, rejecting any of them would've been an absolute crime. They're all abundantly gorgeous. Edward's a bore until you get him in bed. And just suuuch a crybaby. Physically, however, Edward's beauty could outshine Adonis himself. He's 6'2" and slender but muscular. His cheekbones, strong jaw line, pretty nose and full lips are to die for. And his messy, bronze hair combined with those emerald-green eyes could make any girl melt. Good looks must run in the family, though. Because Emmett was just as much of a hunk. He stood four inches taller than Edward and had the physique of a body builder. Where Edward was a bore, Emmett was the life of the party. Just a fun, friendly guy. His dimples are too cute for words while his eyes, the shade of a crystal clear lake, immediately draw you in. He's really a big teddy bear even if people may find him intimidating at first. Emmett wasn't blessed with Edward's bronze sex hair. Instead, he got ordinary brown curls.

Seth and Jacob could be brothers. And, I'm not bullshitting you either. Rumors used to swirl around that Seth's mother had an affair with Jake's father around the time Seth was conceived. To each their own. Seth is pretty tall, around six feet, and thin. He had some muscle on him. And of course, Seth always has a big grin on his adorable face. He's kind and pure and unfortunately part of the idiotic clan. His skin is russet colored while his hair is jet-black, two traits that make his appearance so similar to Jacob's. Jacob is around Emmett's height and used to act pretty happy and cheerful, like Seth. Lately, though, he seems to be joining the cynics. Being honest, it's making my interest fade pretty quickly. Eddie, Jake, and I are juniors. Eddie's eighteen while Jake and I are seventeen. Seth's a sophomore and about to turn seventeen. Emmett's a senior and pushing nineteen. James is in his last year of college and almost twenty-three. They're all pretty different with school work. Edward of course fully applies himself. Seth tries to, mostly because he admires Edward so much. Jake gives a half-hearted effort and is an average student. He could do better if he just tried a bit more. Meanwhile, Emmett and James could give less of a damn about their studies. They prefer partying over everything.

So, as you can see, I'm not the kind of girl you root for. I'm a cynical, greedy, two-faced bitch. You can hate me for it if you'd really like to. I won't give a single fuck. Yet, chances are that your boyfriend is lusting after me with every fiber in his body as you sulk. And I find that ever so satisfying.

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**If I see enough interest in the story, I'll probably continue. And the next chapter will explain how Alice got involved with everyone and the dynamics of her relationships. Otherwise, I'll scrap this and start from scratch. Leave reviews and all that good stuff please. **


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